1. Overly responsible, thereby depriving the child of the opportunity to learn how to take care of themselves in the world. This in turn leads to a lack of strength & endurance, and an ongoing reliance on Father or some other responsible person. OR
   
   
2. He would have been not responsible at all, causing difficulty and hardship in the family system, through his lack of physically and/or emotionally caring for the family. This then leads to the child's belief about lack of support, so "I have to do it all myself" because "there's no-one there for me", or, "it's always going to be hard" so I must struggle etc. The positive result from this experience is a tremendous strength and endurance ability which is born through the struggle of the early years.

When counselling my clients who carry this theme (or any theme for that matter), I always suggest that they don't have to throw out the proverbial baby with the bath water. In other words there are always positive results from the original deficit beliefs, which need to be maintained, at the same time as re-permissioning the limiting beliefs into new and positive ones. So for example here, we would encourage the client to cherish their strength and fortitude and recognise how very useful this is, as the NS people are the builders of the world, who create lasting and meaningful structures as a result of their efforts.

We can then encourage them to release the belief that they are unsupported, and that it is safe to allow others to be there for them, without having to be responsible for everybody else (so they can get their sense of recognition, and above all get loved). This in turn allows them to release their deeply repressed anger and frustration at all they have to do to "get loved", and to become more gentle and loving in turn.

Whether the Father played out the under or over compensated role (which would have been expressed through the signs and houses of Sun and Saturn), in the early scene, the early family life would have been over bounded, with many rules and regulations to be maintained, as the system is tightly "clenched" so that order can be maintained. He would have been cold and/or aloof in his bearing, and conveyed a quality of seriousness as his maintenance behavior. The NS type sets up this early experience where there is a very autocratic and authoritarian setup, to limit their own perception of themselves as being able to create their own inner authority figure. Their anima ( or feminine) function is very limited, and the compensation for this is often the very autocratic father, who is subsequently replaced by bosses, and other authority figures in adult life. They model themselves on this, and seek to emulate it, in the belief that this will gain the respect they would like to believe they deserve, in turn gaining their right to exist. The image of the Victorian family and Father is very appropriate here.

So here we have the corporate administrators and bureaucratic functionary types, who sadly did not have fun and joy in their early lives, and don't know how to have it in their adult lives either. The Spirit of the Child is deficit here & needs to be repermissioned to become free & creative, thus enabling the client to realise they have the right to joy and camaraderie as they achieve their goals.

The goal of the client centered counsellor is to "re-permission the child", and so we are always seeking to gain the trust of the inner child of the client, as a means to get close to them, to let them feel safe enough to admit their truth, and feel the accompanying feelings.

This is never more poignant than in the case of NS types, who hold themselves aloof from admitting just how sad and lonely their inner child is, and how desperately it wants to be small and helpless, and have someone else take care of it. Helplessness is a big no no for these people, as it was seen as weakness when they were small, and they consider it weakness in others in their adult life. Helping the client to see that this is not the case, is a major point of growth for them, and opens the doors for them to let go of many overly responsible attitudes, and behaviours, with which they attempt to get loved.

They are usually still seeking the recognition they didn't get from Father, and when they can see that this will probably never come to them (especially since he's often dead and gone), they are enabled to begin to release the accompanying behaviours.

When working with creative visualisation tools the image of the wall is the one for NS, so in meditation getting them to imagine their wall... what does I look like& what's it made of...how high is it etc., and find a way of dismantling it, climbing over it, dissolving it or any other spontaneous manner come out from behind it, is very empowering and healing for the client. In other words helping them to realise that they don't need it to separate themselves from the normal human experiences and frailties is the point.

"If I make it, then that's a problem because I have to maintain the success... and if I don't make it then I'm a failure". So it's a no win situation, because both positions are fraught with pressure. The point in counselling is to help them to see that they don't have to "make it" to prove their right to exist, and that they are not a failure if they don't.

Regardless of "making it", these types are conscientious, stable, loyal and hard working people, who love to work at a meaningful vocation, to which they bring a wealth of organisation and management skills. If they can learn to lighten up, have fun, and not disempower others by taking care of their business too, they may heal into their wholistic potential, and integrate their life lessons along the way.